The one thing most people feel immediately after an unexpected, and unwanted, breakup, is desperation to get your ex back. It’s a common denominator that most people experience. You’re hurting. The breakup caused the pain. Ergo, getting back together with your ex will end the pain.
Not so fast!
Before you start pulling out maps and drawing up battle lines, it’s a good idea to take a moment to really consider whether getting your ex back is the right move to make in this situation.
It may be your kneejerk reaction, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best action to take. Here are a few questions you should ask yourself before you start making plans to win your ex back.
Why do You Want to Get Your Ex Back?
It’s a completely and totally fair question to ask yourself. It’s not about love. At least, it shouldn’t be. Loving someone alone is not worth moving heaven and earth in order to get your ex back.
You might believe you’re soul mates, but why do you feel that way? What is it about your ex that makes this the one person you’re meant to share your life with and that no other person will do? This leads to a very important question…
Do You Know what You Really Want?
Have you thought about it before now? You may have been making plans for a future together, but could those plans change and create a happier future for you?
Is the future you’ve been planning one that fills you with excitement? Is your ex the one person that fills you with excitement? Or, have you been so busy planning your life as part of a “we” that you’ve forgotten to make plans for the “me” in the equation?
It’s not a given that your ex isn’t the one and that you aren’t meant to be together. But, you owe it to yourself to take enough time to figure out the future you want before you begin to make plans to get your ex back.
Are You And Your Ex Really Good Together?
The final question to ask yourself is the simplest, and often the most difficult. Are you good together? Do you bring out the best or the worst in each other? Is the world better when you’re together or did you secretly long for those moments when your ex was busy doing other things?
The questions aren’t difficult, but the answers can make or break your plans to get your ex back. If, after answering these hard-hitting questions, you’re sure your ex is the one and you want him back, then there’s only one thing left to do: “Make it so.”
Bottom line: You can get the tools you need to get your ex back. You just have to be willing to put them into action at the right time and place.